


wound

by GalekhXigisi



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Blood, He's technically sick?, Hurt Sam Winchester, I Die By My Own Sword, No Beta, Sam Winchester's Demonic Powers, Sick Sam Winchester, Soulless Sam Winchester, We Die Like Men, season 15 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 07:28:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20991104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalekhXigisi/pseuds/GalekhXigisi
Summary: Sam can feel the shot creeping up on him, sucking the life out of him the same way the demon's blood had.





	wound

Sam knew the feeling that crept up on his stomach. It was something he had grown…  _ accustomed _ to so many years ago. 

It was a cold feeling. He had felt it for years, even far before he even really knew about all the demonic shit that was his soon-to-be life. He couldn’t tell then what it was, just knew the impending feeling of doom that sat deep down in his stomach and jumped to his chest every single time some supernatural creature got near him. He had learned the feeling, learned what it meant, learned what feeling each creature brought. Angels felt like a comforting buzz in his chest, demons felt far too human but with a cold tinge, and so on that he no longer had to write down how he felt and flip through pages to know any of that. He could just think about the feelings and  _ know. _

The demon’s blood buzzed in him, rudely awoken by that nasty energy shot he had put in his own shoulder. He vaguely knows he should have gone for the head, but,  _ really, _ what would that have done? Just pissed Chuck off even more? Just make him throw a bigger tantrum because his favorite TV show took a different line than he wanted it to? That  _ fucker _ gave humans and creatures free will, they should have been allowed to fucking do what they want,  _ right? _ That’s how Sam had always looked at it, even before he knew angels were real, even before he knew religions could come to life right in front of his eyes and tear at his flesh. 

The craving for blood wasn’t there anymore, thank whatever good holy creature was out there, because Sam didn’t want to hear Cas say that he was an abomination again. After so much giving and giving, he doesn’t think he could survive the world taking what little he had left, especially not the way all the spirits and whatever else had been thrown back at him. He could afford Dean looking at him with  _ that _ look anymore, nor the glare he passes Jack,  _ no, _ Jack’s possessed  _ corpse _ nowadays. He could never tell, but he could  _ swear _ that was a demon much higher up than they wanted the Winchesters  _ \- and their angelic friend, though, honestly, Sam thinks with his entire everything that Cas is a Winchester just as much as the blood brothers are - _ to know. He’s sure he can sit it out for the  _ “big reveal” _ once again, just like he always does. He just hopes it’s not some newly formed Michael or Adam or whoever else thought they had an act of vengeance on the brothers. Fuck knows how much shit they could stir. 

He feels the familiar ache. It starts out as a cramp, but somewhere so deep that he can’t even place it.  _ Growing pains, _ Sam had always heard from Dean and John. He had learned to discard them just as much as he discarded every other cut or bruise that came his way. His soul was torn up by Lucifer and Michael? Just another chunk taken out of the old block, he wouldn’t crumble because of  _ that, _ no. Getting told again and again that he was an abomination by any angelic creature _ \- genuinely and not - _ that he had looked up to for years? Same shit he got from his dad, nothing he couldn’t fucking take. 

That cramp grows, though. It spreads a cold feeling similar to pre-death melancholy over his entire body. It’s that few minutes of peace everyone gets before they get thrown up or down, that last hurrah before life inevitable aches too much, before those seconds where the pain s too overbearing and the nervous system shuts down one last time. It’s only a split second of comfort that Sam knows won’t last. It never had, never would. 

Sam doesn’t get that stomach aching crave for demon’s blood. It’s something entirely different. It feels like when Bobby and Dean forced him into the salt-lined safehold. It feels like his body is burning from the inside out. It felt like his soul itself was getting violated and ripped apart while maggots crawled through his bones and chewed on his organs, chomping them down to an ache so sharp that he thinks it’s rather comparable to what Lucifer used to do every “morning” when they were in the Cage.

Sam  _ despises _ the feeling. He knows he can truck through it. It wasn’t the first time, after all, and there seemed to be no hallucinations with it outside of the occasional vision he got when he got too close to an angel’s grace or some form of supernatural creature that just seemed  _ strong. _ He’s sure that he can live with that, live with ignoring the fear that came with every shoulder touch he got from Cas or his possessed son’s corpse. Hell, even demons and other creatures were starting to cause rips in his mind. 

The wound was growing more and more. Usually, that’s what happens to untended wounds, but Sam tended to it hourly. He checked on it, cleaned it, even let Cas try to heal it, even let Rowena and whoever else wanted to take a gander at it try. Despite that, it just grows, festering and sapping the warmth from his bones. Sam knows he doesn’t have much time. Each vision was a  _ vision, _ he  _ knows _ they’re visions, just as they were when he was younger. Every single one was a tick on the clock, getting closer and closer. And, honestly, Sam is rather sure he doesn’t have much time left, not that he even had much to begin with. 

He just hopes he can find a way out of the pouring hourglass before he drowns in the sand. 

**Author's Note:**

> Aye, yo, hit me up and scream at me on tumblr @galehk-xigisi . I've got theories n shit there. I absolutely adore this new season and I know it's gonna kill me. I've slept two hours in the past 48 hours, too, so this mess came out of it. 
> 
> Also, hmu on my discord server, too! I'd love to see y'all there!  
https://discord.gg/eGkwayy


End file.
